Bat Boy
At 6 months, he got his first teeth… Then he went through hell. Fever. Drool. Rash. Pain. More pain. And then one morning, I spotted them. Full on fangs. Who ever heard of such a thing? Fangs first? I had a nine month old Dracula. A Draculito….
Mother’s Day
I say have Mother’s Week. Like Reading Week, or Spring Break, but for moms. That way, the mommies really can have it all: time with their kids, time with their parents, and time by themselves. Apparently that’s what most moms really want – time alone.
Mother’s Day – But For Real
I learned that my own mother, the queen of the mom/daughter love affair, the biggest promoter of parent-offspring bonding EVER, the Maharaja of mothers would not be there. She was devastated. I thought for sure we were doomed…
Bullied? Or Bullsh*t?
…she has a couple of kids. Boys. Boys who, she claimed, “are much easier than girls. And much nicer.†She turned to leave but first, looking me square in the eye, she added, “girls are bitches.” Whoa! What was up her ass?
my-Tunes
All the coolio parents were so thrilled that their little hipsters only listened to their (the parents’) tunes. But come on – didn’t their kids want to hear the same one song over and over and over again? I mean puh-lease, after a while, don’t The Beatles become as irritating as Raffi?
GRADUATION DAY
It’s June, and therefore, for those with children of almost any school age, it’s Graduation Season. Whether from pre-school to elementary, middle to high school, or university and beyond we have all been told, repeatedly, that it is a BIG DEAL. Growing up, wasn’t it just high school that was a big deal? Prom, corsage, […]
LOST& FOUND
We have a new rule in our house – if you’re not ready to leave when it’s time to go, you take the bus. Unless you’re 7 years old. Then you just get to school late. But for the 10.5 and 12 year old? Hop on the bus, Gus. So far, we haven’t had to […]
THE TRUTH FAIRY
My nearly nine year old son asked me to join him in private conversation the other day. He needed to speak to me about life, friends, his homework and…the tooth fairy. Yes, he still believed. Despite many queries and doubts, my children were staunch believers in the magic of the tooth fairy. My Man and […]
All Joy, No Fun…
According to the most recent studies, having kids makes you unhappy. I’m paraphrasing of course, but when I read this, I wanted to refute it at every word. I’m deliriously happy. Except when I’m not. And staying home and being there for my children is completely fulfilling…
OK. Not really. But….How did they know??
Top Cops
Massive black smoke clouds billowed out of the house two doors west. Its elderly occupants were outside, watching it burn. A firefighter staggered out of the house, was ushered to a chair and stripped of his equipment. He left in an ambulance soon after.