Sponsorship Scandal
I always succumb to the old fashioned sponsorship request. Biking for breast cancer? I’ll give. Dance-off for diabetes? Sign me up. Golfing for gout? Here’s a twenty.
For All Your Insurance Needs
Have a pet? Don’t forget pet insurance. We’re quite smug about having it. Or were. I‘m kinda wishing the dog’s thyroid condition would worsen, just so the insurance company will have to pay.
The Art of Re-Gifting
Fact is, everyone thinks they have great taste. They don’t. And that’s why, sometimes, it really is better to give than to receive.
Friends with Money
I loved all scenes with the gay-straight guy. Or straight-gay guy. Whatever. He was the best girlfriend any of them could’ve wished for. For therein lies my real problem with this movie: I didn’t believe these chicitas were friends in the first place.
Bat Boy
At 6 months, he got his first teeth… Then he went through hell. Fever. Drool. Rash. Pain. More pain. And then one morning, I spotted them. Full on fangs. Who ever heard of such a thing? Fangs first? I had a nine month old Dracula. A Draculito….
Outta Lox
I’m always amazed when a seemingly brisk business disappears in a cloud of dust. Sometimes, they make an announcement, or, better still, have a sale, giving us a chance to go in and vulturize the place. Admit it, there’s nothin’ like a good going out of business sale. It makes the bad closing-down news much more palatable.
Idol Shaves Chris
I don’t know who was most surprised – the judges, Kitty, or the Bald One himself. Total devastation. Now that is good tv. With nary a dry eye, we said bye bye to Mr Daughtry, the rock ‘n roller who was waaaay too alterna rock for AI in the first place. And yet, we liked him, we really liked him.
Rage Against the Machine
Raising his voice, he told me there were 30 kids living on the block and I was a danger on the road. It was all I could do to not let my potty mouth get the better of me. Instead, I figured, I’d show him! And took off as fast as my little car could carry me. Bite my dust, scumbag!
Mother’s Day
I say have Mother’s Week. Like Reading Week, or Spring Break, but for moms. That way, the mommies really can have it all: time with their kids, time with their parents, and time by themselves. Apparently that’s what most moms really want – time alone.
Mother’s Day – But For Real
I learned that my own mother, the queen of the mom/daughter love affair, the biggest promoter of parent-offspring bonding EVER, the Maharaja of mothers would not be there. She was devastated. I thought for sure we were doomed…