Mother of All Mavens

A whole lot o' nothing. And then someā€¦

New year, new you.

Or not.

As many loyal readers know, I am absolutely, positively, one hundred percent anti-new year’s resolutions. It’s a total set-up, a failure guarantee. Perhaps, those of us who may have, ahem, overindulged during the All Encompassing Holiday Period might benefit from some trips to the gym. And, yeah, keeping your mouth firmly closed may help shed a pound or three. But to start on Jan 1st? Especially when it falls on a Saturday? No chance, Lance.

Stopping the smoking and the spending are achievable goals, to be sure. There’s no smoking indoors and it’s bloody freezing outside. Also, drink drink drink, puff, puff puff – but does anybody really smoke anymore? Aside from those who know who they are? It’s a cold lonely habit to be a Canadian smoker in winter.

Spending? If you celebrated any holidays at all – be it Christmas, Chanukah, or the Getting Away from it All foreign trip, then you’ve probably spent all your cash – and received some good gifts too. So tuck in and hold tight. Besides,it’s “cruise” season. Cruise. Season. I mean, really.

For those who can’t give up their faith in the Jan 1st makeover, I think I can help. As many know, I am in a healthy, loving relationship with my iPhone, glitches and all. Especially Words With Friends. But there’s a new app in town.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girl, gamers of all ages….may I present:

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Angry Birds, move over.

Not that I ever really understood its appeal. Flinging little chicks at nasty piggies, toppling over barns, bricks and barrels. Was it a flick of the wrist? Trajectory trickery? I was probably the only one of the 12 million suckers who downloaded this game but couldn’t get it. My Man got it. And loved it. And beat it. As did my kids. The iPad Dad was IT with his stupid Angry Birds.

And then….ffffft….I discovered Cut the Rope. Me and the other App-ers who downloaded it a million times in 10 days. It’s referred to as a “physics-based” game but as someone who came this close to flunking high school science can attest – it ain’t just physics. It’s FABULOUS!

Want to stop spending? Start playing. No time to step out and smoke – you’ll be too busy slicing ropes and swiping spiders. Feeding little Om Nom his candies will take a backseat to your own sugar-cravings. Who needs to detox when there are locked levels to open?

So forget about those pesky new year vows. Don’t buy the hype….buy the app! It’s the resolution revolution – replacing one addiction with another. So go on…Cut the Rope. We’ll worry about curbing that addiction next season….

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