Aaaah, childhood. First steps, first words, first teethâ€¦
When those first teeth appear itâ€™s a relief for everyone â€“ thatâ€™s why my angel baby has become the devil. That explains the runny nose/rash/fever and combo platter that medically has nothing to do with teething yet coincidentally always accompanies the cutting of new teeth. And thatâ€™s for sure the explanation for the drool fest. We often ask about other babiesâ€™ teeth to confirm that our toothless wonders arenâ€™t the only freaks in town. Or, if weâ€™re breastfeeding, to commiserate. Most babes follow the same pattern â€“ a couple bottom teeth, followed by the top two and then, well, who really notices? Itâ€™s all about the initial front teeth. And then suddenly the gaps are filled, the bites are real and theyâ€™re poppinâ€™ cheerios like nobodyâ€™s business.
But something different happened at our house.
Our child grew fangs.
Thatâ€™s right, fangs. At 6 months, he got his first teeth â€“ two on the bottom. A week later they were bracketed by two more. No top teeth in sight. But still â€“ they were obviously en route. Then he went through hell. Fever. Drool. Rash. Drool. Pain. Drool. More pain. More drool. And then one morning, I spotted them. Full on fangs. Who ever heard of such a thing? Fangs first? I had a nine month old Dracula. A Draculito.
A couple of days passed, and I became obsessed with these little teeth (and lack of more). Iâ€™d look at my laughing Bat Boy and think itâ€™s hilarious. I snap pictures, as proof, but the fangs never come out. Maybe he really is a vampire. Heâ€™s up at night. Sometimes. And he doesnâ€™t like the sunâ€¦ We have no crosses to hold up, but he does get a real charge out of his own reflection, so itâ€™s more likely heâ€™s a werewolf. Or maybe heâ€™s just a bit of an oddity. Iâ€™m sure the other teeth are coming, but for now, itâ€™s all about those fangs. I show them to everybody. I am constantly trying to make him smile â€“ not because itâ€™s fun for him, but because I want others to see these crazy canines. Itâ€™s like the anti-competition: your child walks and talks? Mine has fangs!
We went to see the doctor the other day, nothing dental-related. She noticed his teeth and laughed. It seems Iâ€™m not the only mother-of-fang in town. Two of her kids had fangs first too. Dammit. We’re not as special as we thought. See? Try as you might, itâ€™s hard not to compare and contrast your kids with everybody elseâ€™s.
They donâ€™t last long, these days of early childhood. Or fangdom. I just spotted a top tooth making itâ€™s way south. Harumph.